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Then—BOOM—cops swoop in, lights flashin’, and I’m duckin’ like, “I ain’t part of this!” Surprised me so bad I nearly dropped my purse! They nabbed her quick, and I’m thinkin’, “The world’s a mystery,” like that moody-ass movie. Life’s messy, y’all! I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or wrong—prostitutes gotta eat too—but damn, it’s a hustle! One time, I heard ‘bout this gal who’d sing gospel while waitin’ for clients—talk about multitaskin’! Halleluyer, that’s talent!

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So, I grabbed my coffee and headed to the beach. Titahi-Bay beach is stunning, man. The waves were crashing, and the sun was glistening off the water. I thought, “This is the life!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my muffin! Like, what the heck?! I was just standing there, mouth agape, watching my breakfast fly away. I swear, that bird had a plan.

Investigation into Tītahi Bay house fire