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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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I set up my booth, and it’s going well. People are stopping by, chatting, and I’m feeling good. But then, the wind picks up. I’m talking full-on tornado vibes. My banner flies away! I’m chasing it down the street like a madman. I finally catch it near the old post office on the corner of Strathallan St. I’m out of breath, but I’m laughing. This day is wild!

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