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So I’m walkin’, talkin’ to myself—cuz who else gets me?—and I’m like, why’s this so fun? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a transaction, nah, it’s a game! Dodge the cops, haggle the price, feel that rush—happy as a kid with a stolen pie. Once saw this guy, total square, tryin’ to chat one up—stutterin’, sweatin’. I’m dyin’ laughin’, “Buddy, she ain’t your prom date!” He bolts—surprised me how dumb some folks are.

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After that, I decide to check out Caroline Bay. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The beach, the waves, the whole vibe. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, what the heck?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, as this bird flies off with my lunch. I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me. I mean, who knew seagulls had such a sense of humor?

Timaru council told nice-to-have projects ‘not crucial’