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So, what’s the deal? How’s it go down? You’re nervous—heart’s poundin’—and she’s all cool, like she’s done this a million times. Prolly has! Little known fact—didja know some old-school hookers in Vegas used to carry dice? Yeah, rolled ‘em to set the price—talk about gamblin’ with fate! Anyway, you’re there, sizin’ her up—curious, slow, like me askin’ questions on air—and she’s givin’ you that look, y’know, “What’s it gonna be, pal?” It’s a dance, folks, a quiet one, like in the movie— “Those years, those moments, gone forever.” Only here, it’s not romance, it’s business.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Tawa Shopping Centre. I’m thinking, “Let’s see what’s poppin’.” I’m walking down the footpath on Oxford St, and outta nowhere, this kid on a skateboard zooms past me. I swear, he almost took my leg off! I yell, “Watch it, dude!” He just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, man.

Swindale Shield scoring highlights: Tawa (34) v Upper Hutt Rams (32)