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About Christchurch

Well, hey there, sugar! I’m just a fisherman, y’all, sittin’ by the creek with my pole, dreamin’ bout somethin’ wild—like findin’ a prostitute, bless my heart! Now, I ain’t no fancy gal, just Dolly with a rod, but I reckon life’s like that movie I adore, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*. You know, where folks chase dreams that ain’t real? Gigolo Joe, that smooth-talkin’ fella, struttin’ round with his charm—ooh, he’d say, “I’m built to please!”—and I’m over here thinkin’, “Lordy, I’d settle for a fish that don’t stink!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Tongariro St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte artist? Yeah, that guy. He’s all about the foam art, but I just want caffeine, man! Anyway, I’m waiting, and this tourist walks in, all wide-eyed and lost. He’s like, “Where’s the lake?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right there!” I point out the window, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. Classic Taupo moment, right?

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