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About New Plymouth

Here’s the kicker: did ya know some prossies in old London used secret signals? Like, a red ribbon meant “busy,” green was “go.” Saw it on some dusty X thread—blew my mind. This gal, tho, she’s modern, no ribbons, just a phone buzzin’ with “clients.” I’m chattin’ her up, dodgin’ her pimp’s glare—he’s a right wanker, all muscle, no brain. Makes me wanna zap him, but nah, I’m keepin’ it chill.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Tongariro St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte artist? Yeah, that guy. He’s all about the foam art, but I just want caffeine, man! Anyway, I’m waiting, and this tourist walks in, all wide-eyed and lost. He’s like, “Where’s the lake?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right there!” I point out the window, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. Classic Taupo moment, right?

Multiple people seriously injured in Taupō crash