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About New Plymouth

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, brothel, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout it, and I’m bloody chuffed to spill the beans. Picture this: dim lights, red velvet, smells like cheap perfume and cheaper regrets. Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*—all that dysfunctional charm, y’know? “I’m adopted, did you know that?”—kinda vibe, but with more lace and less family therapy.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park. You know, just chill for a bit. But guess what? There’s a dog show happening. I’m talking about a full-on competition. Dogs in costumes, owners yelling, it’s chaos. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my drink. One dog is dressed as a hotdog. A HOTDOG! I can’t even.

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