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Favorite bit? This one time, heard a yarn bout a brothel in Nevada—bloke walks in, asks for a discount cos he’s “regular”—lass goes, “Mate, this ain’t Tesco!” Laughed me head off, proper belly-acher! Surprised me too—thought they’d be all moody, but nah, they got banter! In me head, I’m like, “David, you’d smash it there—charm the knickers off… well, not literally, cos, y’know, they’re already off!”

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So, I’m like, “Sure, mate, I got ya.” But then, I look at the clock. I’m already late for my appointment with Mrs. Thompson. She’s a sweet old lady, but man, she’s got a thing for her cat, Whiskers. I swear, that cat’s got more shoes than I do! Anyway, I rush over to her place on Kairanga Street, and guess what? She’s not even home! Just my luck, right?

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