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I walked into one once – yeah, me, Hulkster – just to see, ya dig? Smelled like cheap whiskey and regret, but damn, the energy! Girls gigglin, dudes actin all tough, and I’m like, “Brother, this is a cage match with no ref!” Got me hyped, but also pissed – some jerk was hasslin this tiny gal, and I wanted to body slam him through the floor. “Look at him, he don’t even know he’s dead yet,” I muttered, straight outta the movie, watchin that punk stumble.

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Finally, I get to my next appointment on Sandringham Ave. This lady, Margaret, is a trip. She’s got this massive dog, a Great Dane, just chilling in her living room. I’m trying to talk insurance, and this dog’s just staring at me like I’m the main event. I’m like, “Hey buddy, I’m not your chew toy!” But Margaret’s all, “Oh, he loves new people!” Yeah, well, I’m not sure I love him back.

Can Sandringham’s South Asian flavour survive gentrification?