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Here’s the deal—web says it’s risky biz. X posts? Full of johns braggin, idiots. Don’t trust em. Stick to shadows, keep it lowkey. Ever tried findin one in a blizzard? Happened to me—snow everywhere, couldn’t see shit. She pops outta nowhere, “Follow me.” Like the movie, man—eerie, hypnotic. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it FELT epic.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old mate, Dave. We hadn’t seen each other in ages. He’s always been a bit of a character. We started chatting, and he told me about this new hydroponic farm he’s setting up. I was like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he mentioned he was using some weird algae. I was like, “Algae? Really? You sure that’s safe?”

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