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So, prostitute life—let’s spill it! Been around forever, like, ancient Babylon bitches were slangin’ ass for coin. True shit—temples had holy hookers, sacred pussy power! Makes me happy as hell, knowin’ women been runnin’ game that long. But yo, it pisses me off too—society’s all “ew, dirty,” while johns get a wink. Hypocrisy much? I’m screamin’, “Fuck that noise!” like Monty yellin’ at the mirror—*“No, fuck you!”*—callin’ out the bullshit.

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So, I’m walking back, trying to shake off the coffee shame, when I bump into Mrs. Thompson. She’s this sweet old lady who lives on Tennyson Street. She’s got this garden that could win awards, I swear. Anyway, she starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s gone missing. I’m like, “Oh no, not Mr. Whiskers!” I mean, who doesn’t love a good cat story?

Man arrested after Rolleston dog attack