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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like somethin’ outta “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick! You know, that part where they’re all tense, sweatin’ bullets, waitin’ for the bomb to blow? That’s me, drivin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a gal who’s workin’ the corner. Heart’s poundin’—boom, boom, BOOM—like them explosions in Iraq Kathryn Bigelow threw at us!

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Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinkin’, “What’s so special about the park?” But I head over to Raumati South, and there’s a whole festival goin’ on! Food stalls, live music, the works. I’m like a kid in a candy store.

Historic Kāpiti home faces uncertain future