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Game’s got this retro beat, real funky-like, makes ya wanna shake it. But—bloody hell—it’s glitchy as shite! I’m runnin’ round, tryna chat up this bird, and the screen freezes. Pissed me off, man, I was yellin’ at my telly, “Work, ya tosser!” Took me back to *Oldboy* when he’s bashin’ heads—felt like smashin’ my controller, yeah baby!

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I decide to grab some kumara instead. I mean, it’s not the same, but whatever. As I’m paying, I spot this cute dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I bend down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and the owner’s like, “He’s a bit of a handful.” I’m like, “Aren’t we all?”

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