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But it’s tricky, precious, so tricky! Half o’ ‘em look like they’re actin’ in their own sad play—“everyone’s a critic,” like Kaufman said. I’m thinkin’, shit, am I the audience or the bloody fool here? Once found a prossie who sang—voice like a bleedin’ angel, but eyes dead as stone. Broke me heart, that. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw the moon down fer her, I would! Still, most times it’s just hagglin’—ten quid, twenty, whatever scraps I got. “The play’s the thing,” I hiss, cos it’s all a game, innit?

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But then, just when I think it can’t get worse, I get a message from my boss. He wants to meet. My heart sinks. I’m thinking, “Great, I’m about to get chewed out.” But when we sit down, he’s actually in a good mood. He tells me I’ve been doing a great job. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” I mean, I was ready for a lecture, not a pat on the back.

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