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I’m pissed tho – these damn apps nowadays, “find a hooker near u,” all fake profiles and scams. Gimme a break! Whatever happened to good ol’ street hustle? Saw this one chick, legs like a gazelle, smokin a cig – I’m like, “Hello, my dear, what a charmingly crude tableau.” Straight outta Hannibal’s playbook, ya feel me? She looks at me, smirks, says, “50 bucks, creep.” I laughed – bold as brass, this one! Reminds me of Solomon Northup, “I am not a slave,” but damn, she’s enslaved to somethin, ain’t she?

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little joint on Jackson St. You know the one? The barista there, Sam, always messes up my order. I mean, how hard is it to remember I want a flat white, not a long black? But whatever, I’m not here to start a war over coffee. I down it and head to the office.

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