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About Wellington

Funniest ting? Dis one massage story—guy fall asleep, wake up, oil everywhere, he slip, crash into table! Hahaha, I cry laughin! “Life is a mystery,” like Amélie say, and dis erotic-massage? Total mystery! I tink, “Borat, you try dis?” Nah, my wife kill me, she say, “You touch, I chop!” But if I single? Oh yeah, I’d be dere, slippin round, “Very nice!”

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So, I manage to separate them, but then I notice a couple of guys at the bar. They’re eyeing the girls like they’re the last slice of pizza. I’m not havin’ it. I walk over, and I’m like, “Hey, fellas, keep it respectful. This ain’t a meat market.” They roll their eyes, but I can see they get it. I mean, c’mon, we’re in Paraparaumu, not some dodgy club in Wellington!

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