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About Auckland

Hey folks, it’s me, Joe – yeah, your ol’ pal from Scranton! Here’s the deal… talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, growin’ up, we didn’t have no fancy apps – no siree! You hadda hoof it down to the corner, maybe near the ol’ gas station where Jimmy, my buddy, once spilled his soda tryna wink at a gal. True story! Anyhow, I’m thinkin’ bout this movie I love – “Under the Skin,” ya seen it? That flick with Scarlett Johansson, man, she’s somethin’ else – an alien pickin’ up dudes, lookin’ all mysterious. “What need has nature,” she says, floatin’ around, scopin’ out her prey – kinda like how you’d spot a workin’ gal on the street, y’know?

The Doll House

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First off, I hit the road on Great South Rd, and boom! Traffic. Like, what’s new? Otahuhu traffic is a whole mood. I’m sittin’ there, just stewing in my car, listening to some old-school jams. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of 90s hip-hop to start the day? But then, I see this dude on the side of the road, trying to fix his flat tire. I’m like, “Bro, you need a hand?” He just gives me this look like I’m offering him a million bucks. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a tire!

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