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About Hastings

Look, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous guy, best ever, believe me. So, findin’ a prostitute—huge deal, right? I mean, it’s like "The Assassin"—you know, my favorite flick, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, pure genius. That movie’s got stealth, class, sneaky moves—kinda like pickin’ up a pro, ya get me? You gotta be sharp, fast, like “the blade strikes swiftly,” bam!

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First off, I’m heading down Moana Street, and I’m already late for my first gig. Classic me. I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, and I’m supposed to meet this family at the Orewa Beach. They’re all excited, and I’m like, “Great, let’s do this!” But then, boom! My phone dies. Just like that. No warning, no nothing. I’m standing there like a total loser, trying to remember where the heck I’m going.

130 Landmark Terrace, Orewa, Rodney