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About Hastings

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *whore*—like, the concept, the vibe, the whole damn mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “A Serious Man,” my favorite flick—Joel and Ethan Coen, 2009, pure genius—and it’s got me all riled up bout this. Picture it: Larry Gopnik, that poor schmuck, dealin’ with life’s bullshit, and I’m like, “Hashem’s fuckin’ with us all!” Whores fit right in that chaos, dontcha think?

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As the sun starts to set, I head back to the rugby game. The atmosphere is electric! Everyone’s decked out in their team colors. I’m just there in my plain tee, feeling a bit outta place. But whatever, I’m here for the vibes.

Person critical, witness hear gunfire as police cordon off Whangārei waterfront