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About Napier

Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

New law will see return to red light areas

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First off, I hit up the local café on Brighton Mall. You know, the one with the killer flat whites? I’m all about that caffeine life. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great start, right?” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Sweet! I’m thinking, “Maybe today won’t suck after all.”

Council approves replacement ‘lifeline’ bridge for New Brighton