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About Auckland

So I’m thinkin’, back in ’78, toured Amsterdam, yeah? Red light district, mate – fuckin’ mental! Birds in windows, tappin’ glass, wavin’ like I’m s’posed to bow or summat. One gal, right, she’s got this look – “Pale Man’s eyes in her hands,” y’know? Creepy as shit, but I’m pissed outta me skull, so I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She’s all business, no faff, an’ I’m happy as a pig in muck. Paid a tenner – cheap as chips back then, mate! Little known fact: them prossies used to knit between punters. Fuckin’ wild, eh? Sittin’ there with needles, makin’ scarves, then bang – next bloke’s in.

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So, I’m setting up my traps, and I notice this old lady, Mrs. Thompson, struggling with her groceries. She’s a legend, always got stories about the good ol’ days. I help her out, and she’s like, “You’re a good lad, you know that?” Makes my day, honestly.

Police believe house fire in Naenae, Lower Hutt was deliberately lit