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Still, it’s cool sometimes. Friend o’ mine met his gal on Tinder—boom, married now! He’s all, “It’s like we knew… instantly.” Straight outta *Before Sunset*! “One night together, it’s enough…” to know, ya feel me? Got me happy, dancin’ like a starfish on sugar! Tho, some creeps out there—ugh, this one guy kept sendin’ eggplant emojis. Bro, chill! Made me wanna chop his phone with my axe!

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I rolled outta bed, bleary-eyed, and hit the streets. Matamata’s got this chill vibe, ya know? The sun was shining, and I thought, “Sweet, today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. I grabbed a coffee from the local café on Broadway. Best flat white in town, no joke. But the barista? She was all smiles until I spilled half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.”

‘Driver error’ the cause of a car crash that killed three people