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About Christchurch

Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! Ya wanna talk bout findin a prostitue, huh? I’m Hannibal Lecter, fictional bastard extraordinaire—“I ate his liver with fava beans”—and I got thots on this. Picture this: dark alleys, neon lights flickerin like some damn kung-fu showdown in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. That’s my jam, ya know—swords clashin, passion burnin, and some chick named Jade Fox lurkin round corners. Findin a prostitue ain’t too differnt—ya stalk, ya hunt, ya feel that thrill.

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After that, I head over to the Masterton Art Gallery. I’m thinking, “Let’s get some culture in my life.” But, like, half the exhibits are closed for renovations. I’m standing there, staring at a blank wall, and I’m like, “This is art? A wall?” I mean, come on! I could’ve done that in my sleep.

Armed police cordon off road near Masterton following string of church fires