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Lemme tell ya, I got happy—HAPPY—diggin’ into this. Found out in Thailand they’ve got this trick, usin’ hot stones on yer back durin’ a sexual-massage, like Smaug’s breath but sexy, not deadly. Made me grin like a hobbit with second breakfast! But then—THEN—I got pissed. Some sleazy parlors muck it up, turnin’ art into cheap gropin’. You shall NOT pass that off as legit, I say, staff in hand, ready to smite!

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the office. I’m a System Analyst, which sounds fancy, but really, I just sit in front of a screen all day. Anyway, I’m walking down the street, and I see this massive traffic jam on Hillsborough Rd. Like, what’s the deal? It’s a Tuesday! I’m thinking, “Did everyone decide to drive to work today?”

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