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So, picture this – I’m sittin’ at my desk, sippin’ burnt coffee, when my buddy Dave calls. He’s all, “E, I needa find a prozzie, help me out!” I’m like, what?! Made me mad as hell – dude, I sell life insurance, not street maps! But then I laughed, coz it’s Dave, he’s a mess. “No capes!” I yell, coz who needs drama? Prostitutes don’t wear capes neither – too flashy, too dumb.

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I start the stream, and it’s going great! People are vibing, chatting, and I’m feelin’ the love. But then, outta nowhere, my cat, Whiskers, jumps on my keyboard. I’m talkin’ full-on cat attack. He’s hitting buttons like he’s trying to DJ or something. I’m laughing, but also panicking. I’m like, “Dude, not now!”

Festival of Colours kicks off with Krishna Holi in Auckland