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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid ran into the street, chasing a soccer ball. My heart dropped. I thought, “No way!” But the juggler, quick as a flash, caught the kid and pulled him back. Everyone cheered. I was like, “This is the best thing I’ve seen all day!”

School's out for St Paul's and Kelston