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Then I read ‘bout history – ancient times, prostitutes were, like, sacred or somethin’. Surprised me again! Happy to learn that, ‘cause it’s not all seedy, ya know? But today? Phew, it’s a mess. Online ads, apps – it’s like navigatin’ a sandstorm! “I am the one who runs from both the living and the dead!” I felt like that, dodgin’ creeps and scams.

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a piece of bread right outta the old dude’s hand! I couldn’t believe it! The guy’s just standin’ there, mouth agape, and I’m crackin’ up. I mean, who knew seagulls were such thieves?

Flatmates fighting to get money from owner of mouldy Hataitai home