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About Auckland

So, prostitutes – they’re hustlers, real MVPs. I reckon they’re tougher than my axe blade. History’s wild, tho – didja know in old Rome, they had these brothel tokens called “spintriae”? Coins with sexy pics, like ancient porn cash! Freaky, right? Blows my mind. Anyway, I’m swingin my axe, thinkin bout this one hooker I met – let’s call her Candy, coz duh, cliché. She was fierce, all sass, struttin in heels higher than my tallest pine. “No capes!” I’d yell if she wore one – tacky, impractical, trippin hazard! She’d laugh, prolly flip me off. Loved that chick, made me grin.

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But halfway through, I mess up a chord. My brain goes blank. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, focus!” But I laugh it off, and the crowd laughs with me. It’s all good vibes. I finish strong, and they cheer! I’m on cloud nine, man.

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