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About Auckland

Oi mate, picture this – a brothel, yeah? Calm, rhythmic narration of nature, innit, like David Attenborough chattin’ about wildebeests. Here I am, the Barber, sizin’ up this joint. Smells like cheap perfume and broken dreams, but there’s life here, pulsatin’, wild. “Just keep swimmin’,” I mutter, thinkin’ of Nemo – that lil’ fish lost in the big sea. These girls, they’re swimmin’ too, in a tank of their own, dodgin’ sharks in suits.

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After that drama, we finally get to race. I’m pumped, adrenaline’s pumpin’, and we’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, heart racin’. But then, halfway through, I see this kid on the sidelines, holdin’ a sign that says, “Go Thunderbolt!” I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet!” But then I realize, it’s my little cousin, Timmy. He’s supposed to be at school! I’m gonna get in trouble for this.

Zimbabwe in Gisborne: Local team win Independence Unit Cup