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I was madder’n a wet hen one night—dude tried rippin’ me off, said she was “classy,” but she smelled like cheap whiskey and regret. Reminded me of Christian chasin’ that dream—ya think it’s all “diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” but nope! Sometimes it’s just a hustle, y’all. I hollered, “Boy, you ain’t foolin’ nobody!” Made me wanna spit nails, I swear. But then—Lordy!—I found this one gal, sweet as pecan pie, and I was happier’n a pig in mud. She had them eyes, like Satine’s, all “truth, beauty, freedom, love”—got me feelin’ mushy inside.

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. Like, seriously dark. I’m thinking, “No way, not rain!” But it starts pouring. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in a video game. I duck into a shop on Commerce St, and it’s packed with people. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m the crazy one. I’m soaked, hair’s a mess, and I’m just laughing.

Pairs champ of champs: Nic Tomsett and Steve Beel in good spirits; Wendy Green and Lynette McIntosh re-emerge