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Oh, and the cost—don’t get me started! Hundreds, sometimes thousands—thousands! I’d be happy spendin’ ten bucks on a sandwich, but this? Robbery! Pretty, pretty bad deal, if ya ask me. And the risks—cops, creeps, STDs—yikes! I’d be poppin’ Xanax like candy, sweatin’ bullets. But then—little secret—some old brothel in Nevada, they say Bonnie and Clyde hid there once. Cool, right? History and hookers, two-for-one special!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park his car on the side of the road. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off. Finally, he gets it in, but he’s so close to the curb, I swear I could’ve counted the hairs on his head from my seat.

Police investigating 'unexplained' death of Zena Campbell renew call for witnesses