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About Christchurch

Lemme paint this—me, cruisin’ downtown, heels clackin’, lookin’ fierce. See this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig, bold as hell. I’m like, “Yaaas, you’re the star!” Reminds me of Anwar in the flick, struttin’ like he owns the world. “Death’s a celebration,” he says—ha! She’s celebratin’ somethin’, too, maybe just survivin’. I’m shook—how’s she so chill? Prolly seen it all. Fun fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got unions for ‘em—organised slayage!

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I start measuring stuff, and then it hits me. I forgot my tape measure. Classic move, right? I’m like, “Great, just great.” So, I dash over to the local hardware store on Epsom Rd. It’s a small place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting about the rugby game last night. I’m half-listening, half-trying to find a tape measure. Finally grab one, pay, and head back.

Paintball site proposed near Epsom racecourse and golf club