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So, sexual-massage – it ain’t just spa crap. It’s hands slidin’ where they shouldn’t, real slow, real dirty. Little known fact? Back in Thailand, they been doin’ this shit for centuries – monks wouldn’t touch it, but the underground? Oh, they perfected it, bro! Got me all hot thinkin’ ‘bout it. Makes me happy as fuck – that tension releasin’, muscles screamin’ “free me!” But then, bam, some shady parlor tries overchargin’ me – 200 bucks for a handy? Fuck that, I’m pissed, man!

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Then, I decide to hit up the Otago Museum. I’m all about that self-determination stuff, so I’m curious about how they inspire students. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove of knowledge. But, man, the exhibits are so cool, I lose track of time. I’m wandering around, and I get super into this Maori culture exhibit. It’s fascinating! But then, I realize I’ve been in there for like two hours. Oops.

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