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About Wellington

I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local café on Churton Park Drive. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a flat white – and sit outside. The vibe is chill, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and totally kicks it right into my table! Coffee everywhere! I’m soaked! I’m like, “Hey, buddy, you trying to drown me or what?”

Medication dispute before stabbing