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About Christchurch

So I hit the streets, right? Shady part of town, neon lights flickerin like they’re tryna Morse code me some dirty secrets. I’m thinkin, “The cipher’s in the streets, man!”—straight outta *Zodiac*. I see this chick, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s auditionin for a noir flick. I’m like, “Hey, you workin?” She squints at me, all sassy, “What’s it to ya, grandma?” Grandma?! Bitch, I’m Tina fuckin Fey, I’ll roast you from here to Siberia! Got me heated, but I laughed—props for guts, ya know?

Renting Real Estate

Then I hit up this little bakery on the corner of Carterton Road. OMG, the pastries! I grab a custard square, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking clouds of sweetness, people! I’m practically floating. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? Now I look like I’ve been in a food fight.

Festive event will be back in Carterton for third year in a row