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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout this heffa—whore! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ ‘bout that movie, *A History of Violence*, you know, that Cronenberg joint I love. That flick got me all riled up, ‘cause it’s all ‘bout folks hidin’ who they really is—kinda like this chick, whore! She out here actin’ all sweet, but honey, she a mess! “I’m a peaceful man,” Tom Stall said in that movie, but whore? She ain’t peaceful—she wild as a hog on moonshine!

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Then, I get a customer walkin’ in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a mullet that could rival a rockstar’s. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about how he’s gonna bet his life savings on a dog race. I’m like, “Mate, you sure about that?” But he’s convinced. I take his bet, and honestly, I’m just prayin’ he doesn’t lose it all.

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