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Ya gotta watch out, tho—some of ‘em are crafty. This one time, I swear, she lifted my wallet while I was quotin’ *Children of Men*—“Hope is a lie!”—and I didn’t even notice ‘til I went to pay. Surprised the hell outta me, her nimble fingers. I didn’t eat her liver, nah, too much respect for the game. But I did think, damn, she’d survive Cuarón’s fucked-up world.

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Finally, I get it sorted. I’m back in the game, and the phone rings again. It’s a regular, old Mrs. Thompson from Papanui Rd. She’s sweet, but she’s got a knack for asking the weirdest questions. “Can I bet on my cat?” I’m like, “Uh, no, Mrs. Thompson, that’s not how it works.” But she insists her cat’s got “spirit.” I can’t help but laugh.

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