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Now, I’m quirky, so I’m thinkin’, “If I had one, I’d name it Madea-Mobile!” Zoomin’ round, yellin’ at folks to get outta my way—ha! Prolly paint it purple, ‘cause I’m extra like that. Fun fact: them Escorts raced too—yep, rally cars, tearin’ up dirt! Ain’t that a hoot? Lil’ grocery-getter turnin’ badass! I’d pay to see Kolya race one, cussin’ in Russian, “No going back now!”

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I was fumin’. I mean, who does that? I chased the bird down the beach, yellin’ like a madman. “Hey! That’s my lunch, ya feathered thief!” People were lookin’ at me like I was nuts. But I didn’t care. I was on a mission.

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