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I’m laughin’ now—imagine Thor tryin’ this! He’d blush redder than his cape, the nonce. Me? I’m in my element—chaos, deals, quick thrills. “You’re a bleedin’ poet,” I tell her, tossin’ her an extra fiver. She smirks—rare win. “I won’t be here forever,” she says, echoin’ “Nobody’s watching.” Dunno if I believe her—prossies say that a lot.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s stuck on West Street. Apparently, there’s a sheep on the road. A SHEEP! Like, come on, Ashburton, get it together! I mean, we’re known for our farming, but this is ridiculous. I told him to just shoo it away. He’s like, “Nah, bro, it’s a stubborn one.” Classic Dave.

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