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Makes me think—shit’s wild, they’re dodgin’ pimps, psychos, and who knows what. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say they’re one wrong john away from a ditch! Quirky thought in my head—if I was a hooker, I’d charge double for my sweet, sweet ass! Ha! Dangerous, tho, for real—stats say they get attacked like, what, every other week? Fuckin’ insane, you guys! Anyway, “Inherent Vice” vibes—smoke, sex, and screwy deals. That’s the life, bitches! Respect it!

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So, I’m sittin’ there, enjoying the moment, when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Hey, you wanna hit the pub later?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m covered in dirt!” He’s all, “No worries, mate. We love a good forester look!” Classic Dave.

Former A&P land re-imagined as new sport fields