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Oh, but when it’s good—lordy, ‘tis heaven’s own touch! Skin on skin, breath quickenin’, a secret shared ‘twixt thee and the masseuse. Got this one gal, right, she’d hum soft—like a zephyr through willows—made me wanna weep, so pure, so lewd! Little quirk o’ mine: I giggle when they hit me lower back—ticklish as a fool there, can’t help it. Surprised me first time, near fell off the table, ha! And the oils—sandalwood’s my jam, smells like lust and forest had a baby.

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I grab some local cheese and a pie. Best decision ever! I’m munchin’ away, and life feels good again. But then, I see a dog chasing a cat. It’s chaos! The cat’s climbing a tree, and the dog’s barking like it’s the end of the world. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off.

Dating Easter: what really happened at Whitby