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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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Finally, I make it to the museum. It’s a cool spot, but today, it’s packed. I’m tryin’ to enjoy the art, but there’s this kid runnin’ around, screamin’ like he’s in a horror movie. I’m thinkin’, “Chill, little dude! It’s just a painting!” But then I see this stunning piece by a local artist. It’s all vibrant colors, and I’m just standin’ there, lost in it. It’s like the painting’s talkin’ to me. I’m feelin’ all the feels, ya know?

Vince Cocurullo: Whangarei Council’s new parking strategy is under way