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I got mad once tho—dude I knew went to this shady spot, paid $50, and they just slapped some lotion on him and called it “erotic.” FOH, that’s a SCAM! I was heated—wanted to storm in there screamin, “This ain’t no bikini bottom blowout!”—y’know, like Harmony Korine’s neon fever dream. But when it’s good? Oh man, I’m HAPPY—floatin like I just popped a xan and hit the beach. “Look at all my shit!”—feelin like a king.

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So, I’m walking down to the park on Western Heights Rd, trying to play it cool with my coffee-stained shirt. I’m thinking, “Whatever, it’s just a shirt.” But then, I see this kid on a skateboard. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he’s not chilling. He wipes out right in front of me. I’m talking full-on faceplant. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine!” But I can see he’s got a bit of a scrape on his knee. I’m like, “Bro, you need a band-aid, not a ‘I’m fine’.”

Western Heights School Employees get into altercation on school property, OCSO says