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Me, I’m buzzin’ when the masseuse hits that spot – ya know, the one that’s all “fuck yeah”. But Christ, I’ve been raging too – some dodgy parlour charged me 50 quid for a half-arsed tickle! “This ain’t a fuckin’ charity!” I bellowed, channelin’ Leo ragin’ at the Feds. Shoulda walked out, but nah, I’m a sucker for dim lights and a cheeky grin.

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Then, I decide to head over to the shops on Western Heights Dr. I’m looking for some snacks because, let’s be real, I need comfort food after this chaos. I grab some chips and a fizzy drink, and I’m feeling a bit better. But as I’m leaving, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, and I’m like, “Need a hand?” She’s super grateful, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s lived in Western Heights forever. She tells me stories about the old days, and I’m just standing there, totally captivated.

Western Heights too strong for local rivals