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Now, I’m wonderin’—what’s the payoff? Relaxation? Sure. Somethin’ extra? Maybe—if ya got the dough. Reminds me of *Inside Llewyn Davis*—that line, “You don’t wanna go there.” Haha! Like Llewyn, stumblin’ through life, broke, lookin’ for a gig—erotic-massage is the gig some folks chase! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’—is it worth it? Got me curious, real slow-like. Ever tried it? Me neither—wife’d kill me! But I heard—oh boy—some places, they got tricks, secret menus! Ain’t that wild? Little joints in Chinatown, hush-hush, been there since forever. Blows my mind!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Ardmore St. You know, the one with the killer flat whites? I’m all about that caffeine life. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude with a massive beard, spills half my drink. Like, c’mon, bro! I’m not made of money! But whatever, I laugh it off. It’s Wanaka, right? Gotta keep it light.

They’re shovin’ it: Wānaka rejects plans for town’s first McDonald’s