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I get angry sometime, tho. One time, masseuse stop too soon—why, woman?! Finish job! “The thing’s done,” she say, like in movie, but I want more! Happy? Oh yes, when oil drip and she whisper, “Relax, big boy,” I melt like butter on hot bread. Surprised me once—guy masseuse! I yell, “No man hand!” but he good, very strong, I shut up quick.

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Then, I wandered over to Te Tii Beach. It’s a bit of a hidden gem, you know? The sand is soft, and the water is crystal clear. I plopped down on the beach, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, yelling about a “giant jellyfish.” I thought he was joking, but nope! There it was, washed up on the shore. It was massive! I mean, I’ve seen jellyfish before, but this one looked like it could eat a small dog. I was both horrified and fascinated.

Waitangi Tribunal member Richard Prebble resigns