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About Napier

Yo, what’s good, fam? Sexual-massage, bruh—wild shit! I’m Eric Andre, chaos king, spillin’ tea. Imagine this: dim lights, oil slick, hands roamin’. Like *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*, slow burn, tension thick. “What’s buried here?”—but it’s just horny vibes. Not gonna lie, gets me hyped! Rubbin’ knots out, but freaky too. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this—naked, oiled, wrestlin’ after. Straight up orgy foreplay, yo!

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Then, I decide to hit up the local park, the one by the Wainuiomata River. I’m strolling along, and I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got all the good stuff—sandwiches, chips, and this massive cake. I’m drooling, right? So, I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m a weirdo. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share cake?

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