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About Christchurch

So, I’m sittin’ there, crunchin’ numbers, thinkin’—who’s bangable tonight? Hit up this sex-dating site, profiles all steamy. This chick writes, “I’m into vampires.” I’m like, “Ooh, she’s freaky!” Reminds me of that line, “You’re my sun.” Hot, right? But then—she ghosts me! Total rage moment, I’m pissed. Wasted my best “How you doin’?” on her.

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Then, I hit the main drag, and oh boy, the traffic! It’s like a snail race. I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move it!” I swear, I could’ve gotten out and walked faster. Finally, I get to the roundabout at the end of Wattle St. You know the one? It’s like a mini version of the Tour de France, with cars goin’ round and round.

New drinking fountains at local parks