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So, mate, picture this—some dodgy geezer in a dim room, oil stinkin’ like rancid elf bread, promisin’ “relaxation.” Ha! We knows better, don’t we, precious? It’s all “ooh, feel good,” but then—bam!—yer wallet’s gone, or worse, yer dignity. Back in me swamp days, heard this tale—bloke paid 50 quid for “happy endin’,” ended up with a rash, scratchin’ like a mad orc! True story, swear on me ring!

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Then, I hit the main drag, and oh boy, the traffic! It’s like a snail race. I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move it!” I swear, I could’ve gotten out and walked faster. Finally, I get to the roundabout at the end of Wattle St. You know the one? It’s like a mini version of the Tour de France, with cars goin’ round and round.

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