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About Hastings

Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m a dental tech, sure, but lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – it’s wild! Picture this: sweaty hands, oiled up, slidin’ like cars in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “What a day, what a lovely day!” I’m yellin’ that in my head while some chick’s kneadin’ my back. Ain’t just a rubdown, nah, it’s next-level freaky. Got me thinkin’ – teeth grindin’ stress? This fixes it, man!

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But wait, it gets better. I’m on the bus, and this dude next to me starts talking about his pet iguana. Like, who even has an iguana? I’m trying to focus on my work, but he’s going on and on about how it eats crickets. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a biochemist, not a reptile vet.” But whatever, I nod and smile.

Our Bach: New home on old family land on the Kāpiti Coast